I’ve never been happier than I am now. I didn’t think that this kind of happiness was for me. I didn’t think that I deserved this much love and joy in my life. I don’t want to brag, I just want to shout my thankfulness from the roofs!
About a month ago, I was frolicking in the warm clear waters at Sugar Beach, St. Lucia, with the love of my life. That place was indubitably the most beautiful place I’ve ever been in. I have seen a lot of beautiful places, but for me, letting St. Lucia’s warm waters free me of gravity and letting my body float under the warm sun, between their famous two majestic pitons was amazing. An exorbitantly priced resort is also on this beach, other cruisers told us that it costs $1500 to $3000 a NIGHT to stay there! So I really, really took it all in the most that I could, because I know that this beautiful island will most likely only ever be a day trip for me. During our private tour, the speedboat we were on just stopped working and its computers shut down. We had to be rescued by another boat. I was so scared of falling in between the two boats! But even with that adventure, my day in St. Lucia is still one of the most beautiful days of my life. Being in the water, surrounded by lush green mountains just recharges me.
About a week ago, J picked me up right after my university class, and we drove to Halifax, NS to see Black Sabbath in concert. It was really awesome. Because Black Sabbath are just –wow, and also because there are few things I love more than being bombarded with confetti!!! Also on the top of the list are wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men! Seriously. I love those things. I saw three this week!
This week I had 3 day meetings in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, sandwiched by two un-jiggable university classes, which made timing pretty darn tight. J agreed to drive me and stay and work out of the hotel room without hesitation, as usual. How did I get so lucky? Our hotel room was really modern and awesome. We will surely return there whenever we are in Charlottetown next.
Speaking of things that I love – like the warm summer breeze, starry skies, butterflies, a good pho, music, and food, among other things… during my cruise vacation I came to a decision: I’m just going to eliminate things that make me unhappy, or that I’m solely doing to please other people, from my life. During my vacation, for the first time ever, even though it was the best most amazing vacation of my whole life, towards the end I definitely started missing my life here at home. And my actual home. Since I have stopped worrying so much about pleasing the other residents of my apartment building, I’ve begun to kind of love this apartment. I’ve bought frames, and framed happy pictures of us from the cruise. I also framed a beautiful print of a sea turtle in my bathroom. This place really is home. I also missed my cat Roxy terribly! Speaking of Miss Roxy, she spent the day at the vet and came out with an antibiotic shot for a probable urinary tract infection. I hope she feels better soon :/ Poor minou. We are to collect a urine sample in 10 days and bring that in for analysis to make sure it’s going away. Wish me luck with that!
So, remember this post? http://crazymrsnancy.com/2013/10/19/i-havent-blogged-in-over-a-month/ I did it. I stepped down as the president of my chorale, and also I quit as a chorister altogether. I truly am grateful for my 5-6 years in the chorale. I think that the rehearsals and performing on stage really helped me come out of my shell, which helped me generally in life. But it was just time. My focus is now on different areas of my life, and I am so happy. This coming week is also the last scheduled yoga class that I organize at work, before taking an undetermined hiatus. Is it ‘normal’ to love yoga but to prefer a solitary practice? I think that I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m just not someone who generally enjoys social interaction in large groups that much. I just don’t enjoy group anything, really. Is that a bad thing? I’ve honestly been wondering if there is some kind of diagnosable socially awkward thing about me. I am in the foot-in-mouth queen.
I’m being kind to myself; I learned that in yoga class. I am also being honest with myself. I really need a lot of down time/free time/ alone time. I am an overly sensitive person. I am an introvert. Lately I’ve also been doing a LOT of thinking about what it is I really want in life. I want to love all the days of my life. I don’t want to just live for the weekends, you know? I want a lot of alone time. I want to live close to work so that I don’t waste a lot of time commuting; I love the business of downtown. I want to travel. I want to eat good food. I want to see concerts and live music. Last week my application for compressed work weeks was approved! My work schedule is going to be Tues-Fri 8am-6pm, and I get Sat-Sun-Mon OFF!! Three days in a row, every week for a year! I think that it’s going to be worth the longer work hours to have a day to devote to university stuff and more occasions to get some good sleep in. I’ve been having sleep issues lately.
I’ve also been able to choose 2 courses that are given online for my summer classes. I’m so excited about that. About the compressed work weeks, about the not having to force myself to go to choir anymore, and the option to do yoga in my own living room, with my own music. I feel like I will be so much more productive at work if I only have to be social 4 days a week. I feel so free. I feel so excited about my life and my future plans. But is it okay to accommodate my life to allow myself to be this comfortable in my introversion?