The Big D

After a few days of collaborating online to make sure that we were doing everything right, last week my ex-husband and I met to sign our joint divorce petition. Step 1: Done! Although it could take up to three months for Step 1 to be completed and returned to us, I’ve heard of some local people’s entire divorce taking 3 months. Fingers crossed that this all goes smoothly and quickly! Not because either of us is in a real hurry to be officially divorced, but because I can cross it off my list of 2013 Goals and feel like I’m moving forward with  my life.

I’ve been asked if I was going to change back to my maiden name, and the answer is NO. The first reason is because in my head, Nancy {Maiden Name} is a sad sad girl, has zero self confidence, was bullied like hell in elementary school… no. I have no particular attachment to {Maiden Name}; it’s the last name given to my dad by his adoptive family. So many bad memories attached to {Maiden Name}. The last name I acquired when I married my ex-husband is the one everyone has always known me by at work. I’m really proud of who Nancy {Current Name} is today. The second reason is because J and I will hopefully someday get married, and then I’ll probably take {His last name}.

I wonder if it’s typical for divorced women to feel like they don’t deserve a second chance at marriage. I often feel that way. For that reason, I would probably be okay remaining Nancy {Current Name} and unmarried.. but I guess I’d have to ask my ex-husband if this bothers him in any way. I wouldn’t want him thinking I ‘stole’ his last name.

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4 thoughts on “The Big D

  1. Yay! on Step 1 of the divorce being in the works.

    I think the dilemma/struggle you describe is a common one. It demonstrates how much you’ve grown that you don’t default to what you think people/society think you should do. Do what works for you and everyone else will deal with it!

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